Vertigo or Pleasure

by Pearshaped Orange

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1.
I wish for a house beside the sea That takes the time To reflect the sky Even when We’re close enough to touch I can’t feel you I’ll take some time In your company We’ve reached an impasse You dream of snow capped mountain peaks An empty nest That never needs to think Even when I rest on your shoulder I can’t feel you So I’ll take some time In your company I hope that I think of you how you think of me You have nothing to share on this coldest of nights I have nothing I’d give without a fight In the heart of this house I lay down my mind Stained glass remembers more secretive times Frozen Ariel and his acrimonious queen Perished together on opposite streets Don’t bother finding me Heavy-handed words and platitudes Skipping stones and empty gratitude Take a swim in poisoned harbours and Never mind the mercury Take what you can When I’m near We’ve reached an impasse
2.
A gap to slip beneath Forget free To be seen A clean hit to the teeth To ease how I live Friendless going day by day Surviving only the hell to pay Oh god And if there is a way To crawl into the soothing fray I’ll try How these days burn into nights Heavy thoughts and hollow eyes What I wouldn’t give or try If only to have piece of mind I used to hope A nine to five Would scrub me clean And leave me resigned but The bite of memories Won’t stop for monotony The spite of reveries Well I get what I give My mind won’t let me away So helplessness is how I stay Afloat And it is fear that pays The debt I owe and hold hell at bay I try How these days burn into nights With heavy thoughts and hollow eyes What I wouldn’t give or try If only to purge my mind Of helpless gods and grief Regrets and poisoned sea How heavy this earth weighs on me And if I went outside The sun would burn me blind I have to stay still It’s out of our hands divine entwined With cruelty and might removed enshrined No pity just lives bitten maligned Heavy hearts bind in these disparate time The burning pavement It scorches my soles There’s no way to remove myself Except to stay still The sun falling away Pulling shadows past Taking my time Alone Alone at last It’s out of our hands divine entwined With cruelty and might removed enshrined No pity just lives bitten maligned Heavy hearts bind in these disparate time
3.
To ease your mind You could make it right Or forget about What you did that night Flinch away From spoiled days Break your knuckles In the frame Dry your eyes and split You’ll burn yourself out Hoping it gets better than this What a pity you don’t deserve So proud of what Innocence never got its chance to learn Your inquisition is close But you’ll be getting away I’ll find time to accuse you On a gentler day If you weren’t such a coward It would show on your face My forgiveness is just A browbeating away So lay your head down Into my arms Let me delude myself Pull close bite in to find what’s at stake Eden’s promise Or love for lusts sake I suppose it is you that I ought to thank For taking my childish illusions away When we first met We were just kids You didn’t know Any better than I did It was on the high road Where I slipped My perceptions Weren’t paid to quit Dry your eyes and split You’ll burn yourself out Hoping it gets better than this What a pity you don’t deserve So proud of what Innocence never got its chance to learn Though you seem so sure You’re so out of place An anachronistic Heavy-weight case Out on your own Eat it up in space Talk with your fists Leave the rest up to fate I never met one so vapid and brave Just shout the world down And keep shifting the game And I’ll find time to adore you On a gentler day If you’re going to feed tonight Hardened heart Ring its neck and endure its cry Your eyes they smart Where’s the glory? I tried To be led by your light Obsession without question Let me get back to you Even the bones would do Enveloped by the sea You owe me So breathe easy because I will never say your name I’ll skirt around the facts so you don’t have to feel ashamed If we ever meet again I promise, I will drop my eyes I’ve had enough of careless gazing at the sunrise
4.
Coming up when you’re alone Hope everyone got out on time Hope nan can still come home Call her let her know your fine Be a martyr if you must But be sure that they all know What you had to stay for How it bends and breaks and frays Oh these cluttered heated days Those charming men Dressed in barbs and smiles They won’t be there when you come for them Your single soul your single trial Hope you know I can’t help you Or maybe it’s just paralysis of mind I wish I could welcome you in Sit together and take some time Oh melting days All you know and care Will be the first to go While the vermin stays How it bends and breaks and frays Oh these cluttered heated days Now the wicked got their way What they took they can’t repay Homeless flesh of the sewers When you tire don’t worry In this rotten world There’s no salvation Only lips that curl Their empty ends Will never justify the means Finally You’re made of pieces Just like They wanted you to be Arms and legs and clumps of hair Maybe now we’ll have clean air
5.
Call for their heads As your ego needs And pretend There’s something higher to please When you grab his teeth Hold him quick Feel it through your wrists When he splits Now I’ll never know What you’re here to justify God you’re so petty God you’re so empty If this is all you got we may as well lie down Back to sleep Our silence they’ll keep Let his tendons Show his folly Blue and red That’s the vital story And I’ll never know What you’re here to justify God you’re so petty God you’re so empty If this is all you got we may as well lie down Back to sleep Our silence they’ll keep He’s got a point But you’ve got a knife Wretched idolater of the Templar Knights When he calls your bullshit Just twist it tight Stay away from Mirrors and windows at night Sure they pull you close And won’t leave you outside So long you sink your teeth in what they don’t abide But you think you’re the first To bring a knife To this game of blood and sacrifice It’s funny how You go around shaking them down Saying you’re raiding the clouds As you take the feeblest out
6.
Strut 03:04
It’s half the fun to lay them down Otherwise they’d begrudge the ground Soon you will see What you’ve been set to be They only tried to help When they undid their belt And we know That there’s a knocker at the door Hasn’t he heard of peace and quiet Can’t it wait till we’re done sighing? Oh youth Buy your inevitable How sweet she knows how to bend Soon you will see What you were meant to be Born into sweetness Then suckled at deaths teat And we know That there’s a knocker at the door Hasn’t she heard of grace and fawning? One needs honey to catch vermin How we wept for you How we worked for you How we broke our minds So you’d have those too I pray for restraint When it falls to us Was it out of love? Or a-mortality To take such pride in your children’s pyre
7.
Keep your head down Quiet we don’t dare make a sound We’ve been finding our own way out Taking our own time out When they look away Here they don’t know How to measure Where you’ll end or where you’ll go We’ve been finding our own way out Taking our own time out When they go away Here they don’t know How to measure Where you’ll end or where you’ll go Here they don’t know How to measure Where you’ll end or where you’ll go It’s a pleasure To belong here Bound where the pattern ends When they gut you Mind your manners Kiss their shoes see how you fair Hands on throats teeth bite down on coats Keep it all choked down dear friend When they gut you mind your manners Quietly fade into your end
8.
9.
As the stream Erodes away I’ll stop by Day after day Pick it up again Pick it up again Wearing away Day after day Old cardboard walls Thin paper mache They say it’ll come down They cheer It’ll come down on your ears Brave young soul Ideologue of the ephemeral Although the water makes it through The windows and eaves Brave heart Won’t be wrested from your sleeve They say it’ll come down They cheer It’ll come down on your ears I’ll come by Day after day I’ll help Redo the paint Pick it up again Pick it up again Pick it up again Pick it Pick it As the naysayers whisper As they worm in your ears Your friends and helpers drift Beaten down by time and austere Perhaps they say It lies in your ego Perhaps they say You should concede To the rivers will and the waters beat It’s coming down Let it come down Step outside Your vision Your futile dream Disintegrates leaving no slate blank On the river bank Here lies a body broken off life Pick it up again Pick it up again I’ll be there soon Pick it up again Pick it up again To make house a home Still the stream Erodes away I’ll stop by Day after day Pick it up again Pick it up again They say it’ll come down They cheer It’ll come down on your ears
10.
Diana Fair 03:57
Take it’s hide and run Insides dissolving in the sun Let me in I have Then how’d you get so close? Melted away to your bones We found your head upon a pole You’ve left us mad and blind I wish I couldn’t sympathise How thoughtful a lie Or just promises kept But though you kept us out Still you let us close Enough to be obliterated When you made your final choice Shadows stained my soul And they still unfold Measures of memory Heartless yet still so bold In your promise hold me close My heavy head beside yours Accept our place on the pyre Your soul once ice Bubbling away behind Your closed face I only ever knew you Once your skin peeled away The honesty of a static grin Bared by my sins
11.
What a heavy load The horizon holds Plumes of ash and smoke Bodies last repose More terrible yet Is she who rises beyond Scarring the sky with her Writhing red comet soul A bitter collision Of apathy and greed Untended corpses burn on Inhuman and alone It is the keepers of the bees The first with souls to enter the charcoal trees And endure the wailing that was wrought In gilded citadels of ease The bush burns with Gods screams Sounds so appalling Innocents are made comatose Withered souls Leading them blindly away Ravaged out of sight Hides the scarred eye Behind plumes of ash and smoke But where is the queen? Can she still hold court? When her halls are sleepy with smoke A dull buzzing lives on Though ravaged manuka trees See no food for money And the queen remains hidden A bitter collision of apathy and greed The red sun bleeds out freely The court has gathered Judgement must be passed The bush burns with Gods screams But where is the queen? Where is the queen? (The red sun bleeds x2) Where is the queen? (The red sun bleeds x4) Ravaged out of sight (The red sun bleeds x4) While untended corpses burn on (The red sun bleeds x2)

credits

released July 16, 2021

Vocals by Gabriella Patava, Miles Bedak-Stone, Alison Paris and Vin Bass
Guitar by Vin Bass
Drums by Jack Barrueto
Bass by Lukas Sikes-Gerogiannis
French horn by Sophie Patava
Mixed and Mastered by Lewis-Alan Trathen, Edeneaten Studio
Artwork by Vin Bass, edited by Jack Barrueto
Special thanks to Chris Kakoliris and Molly Ulm

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Pearshaped Orange Sydney, Australia

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